🇫🇷 Lesson 15: Reflexive Verbs, Commands & Polite Requests

🪞 Reflexive Verbs: Doing It to Yourself

A reflexive verb carries an extra pronoun that points back at the subject. English has a few (I hurt myself), but French uses them constantly — for waking, washing, dressing, hurrying, remembering, and for anything two people do to each other.

In the dictionary they appear with se in front: se lever (to get up), se laver (to wash), s'appeler (to be called). That se changes with the subject.

FrenchPronunciationMeaning
je me lèvezhuh muh LEVI get up
tu te lèvestü tuh LEVyou get up
il / elle se lèveeel suh LEVhe / she gets up
nous nous levonsnoo noo luh-VOHNwe get up
vous vous levezvoo voo luh-VAYyou get up
ils / elles se lèventeel suh LEVthey get up

âś… The Pronoun Sits Right Before the Verb

Not after, not at the end — immediately before: je me couche, elle se dépêche. In the negative, the sandwich wraps the whole block: Je ne me lève pas tôt. And with two verbs, the pronoun clings to the infinitive it belongs to: Je vais me coucher.

The Daily-Routine Set

FrenchPronunciationMeaning
se réveillersuh ray-vay-YAYto wake up
se leversuh luh-VAYto get up
se laversuh lah-VAYto wash (oneself)
se douchersuh doo-SHAYto shower
s'habillersah-bee-YAYto get dressed
se brosser les dentssuh bro-SAY lay DAHNto brush one's teeth
se préparersuh pray-pah-RAYto get ready
se dépêchersuh day-pay-SHAYto hurry
se reposersuh ruh-poh-ZAYto rest
se couchersuh koo-SHAYto go to bed
s'endormirsahn-dor-MEERto fall asleep
s'amusersah-mĂĽ-ZAYto have fun
se souvenir desuh soov-NEER duhto remember
s'appelersah-playto be called (named)

⚠️ Body Parts Take le, la, les — Not mon, ma, mes

Because the reflexive pronoun already says whose body it is, French uses the plain article: Je me lave les mains (I wash my hands), Elle se brosse les cheveux. Saying Je me lave mes mains is doubly possessive and sounds wrong.

Same Verb, Two Lives

Most reflexives also exist as ordinary verbs. The reflexive pronoun is what turns the action back on the subject.

Non-reflexiveReflexiveDifference
Je lave la voiture.Je me lave.I wash the car. / I wash myself.
Elle réveille les enfants.Elle se réveille.She wakes the kids. / She wakes up.
Il appelle un taxi.Il s'appelle Marc.He calls a taxi. / His name is Marc.

A few reflexives also mean "each other": Ils se parlent (they talk to each other), Nous nous voyons demain (we're seeing each other tomorrow), Elles s'aiment (they love each other).

đź“Ł The Imperative: Giving Instructions

To give an order, invitation or instruction, take the present tense and drop the subject pronoun. Only three forms exist: tu, nous (= "let's") and vous.

FrenchPronunciationMeaning
Écoute !ay-KOOTListen! (tu)
Écoutez !ay-koo-TAYListen! (vous)
Écoutons !ay-koo-TOHNLet's listen!
Attends !ah-TAHNWait! (tu)
Venez avec moi.vuh-NAY ah-vek MWAHCome with me.
Allons-y !ah-lohn-ZEELet's go!

đź’ˇ The Disappearing -s

For -er verbs, the tu command drops its final -s: tu parles → Parle !, tu manges → Mange !, tu vas → Va !. It comes back only before y or en for pronunciation: Vas-y ! (Go on!), Manges-en !

Four Irregular Commands

VerbtuvousMeaning
ĂŞtresoissoyezbe
avoiraieayezhave
savoirsachesachezknow / be aware
vouloirveuilleveuillezplease (very formal)

Soyez patient. (Be patient.) N'ayez pas peur. (Don't be afraid.) Veuillez patienter. (Please hold — the voice you hear on French phone systems.)

Commands With Reflexive and Object Pronouns

Positive commandNegative commandMeaning
Lève-toi !Ne te lève pas !Get up! / Don't get up!
Dépêchez-vous !Ne vous dépêchez pas !Hurry up! / Don't hurry!
Asseyez-vous.Ne vous asseyez pas.Sit down. / Don't sit down.

🚨 Positive: Pronoun After. Negative: Pronoun Before.

In a positive command the pronoun hops behind the verb with a hyphen, and te becomes toi: Lève-toi. In a negative command everything returns to normal order: Ne te lève pas. This flip catches out almost every learner at least once.

🙏 Polite Requests: the Conditional You Need Now

You do not need the whole conditional tense at A2 — but you do need three of its forms, because bare commands and bare je veux sound blunt to French ears.

FrenchPronunciationMeaning
Je voudrais...zhuh voo-DRAYI would like...
J'aimerais...zhem-RAYI would like... (slightly softer)
Pourriez-vous... ?poo-ree-ay VOOCould you...?
Est-ce que je pourrais... ?ess kuh zhuh poo-RAYCould I...?
Vous auriez... ?voo-zoh-ree-AYWould you have...?
Ça vous dérange si... ?sah voo day-RAHNZH seeDo you mind if...?

⚠️ Je veux Sounds Like a Demand

French children are told « On ne dit pas "je veux" » — "we don't say 'I want'". In a shop, café or office, use je voudrais. Adding s'il vous plaît on top costs nothing and buys a great deal of goodwill.

🇫🇷🇨🇦 Across the Atlantic

🇫🇷 France

Service interactions are formula-driven: Bonjour, je voudrais un café, s'il vous plaît — skipping bonjour undoes the politeness of everything after it. Veuillez appears on signs and recorded messages: Veuillez patienter, Veuillez composter votre billet.

🇨🇦 Canada

Québec service is warmer and switches to tu earlier, but the polite conditional is just as common: J'aimerais ça, un café. You'll also hear Ça te dérange-tu ? with the Québécois question particle, and Bienvenue ! used where France says De rien for "you're welcome".

✍️ Practice

Exercise 1 — Reflexive pronouns

  1. Je _____ lève à sept heures. (Answer: me)
  2. Tu _____ couches tard. (Answer: te)
  3. Elle _____ appelle Sophie. (before a vowel!) (Answer: s')
  4. Nous _____ dépêchons. (Answer: nous)
  5. Vous _____ reposez le dimanche. (Answer: vous)
  6. Je me lave _____ mains. (body part — which word goes here?) (Answer: les)

Exercise 2 — Give the command

  1. (tu, écouter) _____ ! (Listen!) (Answer: Écoute|Ecoute)
  2. (vous, venir) _____ avec nous. (Come with us.) (Answer: Venez)
  3. (nous, aller) _____-y ! (Let's go!) (Answer: Allons)
  4. (vous, ĂŞtre) _____ patient. (irregular) (Answer: Soyez)
  5. (tu, se lever) Lève-_____ ! (positive command) (Answer: toi)

Exercise 3 — Be polite

  1. Je _____ un café, s'il vous plaît. (I would like) (Answer: voudrais)
  2. _____-vous m'aider ? (Could you...?) (Answer: Pourriez)
  3. Ne _____ dépêchez pas — on a le temps. (negative reflexive command) (Answer: vous)

🧠 Check Your Understanding

1. "I wash my hands" is:

2. Which is the correct negative command?

3. In a café, the natural way to order is:

4. Why does Parle ! lose the -s of tu parles?